I like to make myself appear sad and depressed, just so that I get some type of recognition. I haven't experienced anything too serious in terms of trauma, other than unconsensual groping, and being resented by my family because of something I never did.

Maybe that is something serious, but I don't think it relates to me making myself feel sad about it. In all reality, I don't really care that I was sexually groped, because it was so long ago. I could have stopped it. But, that's not what I'm here to say, I feel a certain type of melancholy and somberness whenever I'm like this, and it makes me feel comfortable.

I like being babied. I will not disclose my age but, I am not old. Whatever you might define old as varies, but to give you a range I'll say that I'm no older than 24. Anyways, I like to lie about things that happen to me to get this high, the high of someone else caring about me.

I know that I could just reach out about the things that are actually true, but it'll hurt more if they don't care. Cuz if they don't care about a lie, then what's the real harm? I think what I really want is to be loved in a different way I've ever experienced.

Not a motherly love, not a romantic love, not even a friendship love. Something different. Maybe that doesn't exist, or it just doesn't exist for me, but maybe I don't even deserve that love if I act like this. I don't think I deserve what I have in life, because I'm not struggling.

I get by. I don't think my mental is normal, definitely have something off. I don't know what it is, And I don't want to self-diagnose and seem corny. Either way, no one who's normal acts like this. I like being pathetic, I like being seen as pathetic, but this isn't anything sexual.

I don't have a kink for this. This is just my way of getting attention. I'm not trying to ask for help or really anything, I just want to tell people about this. I'm sure that people that'll be able to trace this back to me, but, who really cares?

I know I'm bad. Does that make me worse? Does knowing I'm bad, make me bad?